I’m actually nobody’s first choice and let me tell you how great that feels
i painted a mouth
oh yeah just casually no big deal it’s not like it’s fucking great and realistic and you can actually do that life isn’t fair at all
okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl
female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.
so in conclusion
if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick
FUCK WHAT KIND OF POST IS THIS
Imagine being stuck in an elevator with Tom Hiddleston.
#i’m so sorry you’re trapped #on this elevator #oh dear# do you want my coat #my emergency tea #yes you can have the biscuits too #oh this must be so terrible for you #would you like seventy hugs #a couple of kisses maybe #oh God why are you dead?
#OH GOD WHY ARE YOU DEAD
Your icon is violently in love with you for 5 weeks how screwed are you
DID YOU GUYS KNOW JENGA MADE A NEW VERSION OF THEIR GAME, BUT INSTEAD OF STRAIGHT BORING WOODEN ONES, ITS TETRIS PIECES
THATS RIGHT, ITS MOTHER FUCKING TETRIS JENGA
THE TWO OF THE MOST STRESSFUL GOD DAMNED GAMES WE PLAYED AS CHILDREN ROLLED INTO ONE
They also have one where if you don’t finish the game in time, the platform explodes and it makes you want to murder your family.